I'm Writing This for Reasons

Mostly, I'm procrastinating. It's a horrible habit of mine, but it seems that coursework-wise, I do my best work under pressure. Believe me, I envy the people who can sit down two weeks before a deadline and fire out half a well thought out essay then just tidy it up over the next fortnight. That isn't me at all, I leave it until the last possible moment, I think in some ways, the pressure helps to focus my thoughts and clear my head or at least it usually does and I'm sure it would this time if it weren't for the fact that I'm having to write about an unutterably dull, dry language paper on sentence processing and syntax and find papers that criticise it. Boke.

I've had one of those days where it's actually very difficult to focus on anything even remotely important. I was up at Ninewells at 9am for an Endocrinology appointment today where the nice doctor told me that my seemingly polycystic ovary shouldn't cause me that much of a problem because it's functioning almost normally. However, my hormones are still all crazy and stupid so I've been used as a pin cushion and had enough blood taken to save a small child from some grievous injury and, get this, he's wanting me to do a test for Cushing's Disease (which, having looked at the symptoms and what not would actually explain a lot). On Sunday night, I have to take theses two pills between half 11 and 12 and then I'm away off to the nurse for more needle-based fun between 8.30am and 9.15.

Cushing's is all to do with levels of Cortisol (stress hormone) in the body and what happens when they get out of control. In one type of Cushing's, this can be attributed to certain medications and what not, but seeing as I'm not on any medication, I'm pretty certain that it wouldn't be that kind. The other kind results from a tumour on the pituitary or adrenal gland. What fun.

I get that the doctor is just covering all his bases and running with my symptoms, but I think I was happier when it was just a polycystic ovary and a slightly dodgy thyroid. Don't get me wrong, he didn't say for certain that I have Cushing's, in fact, he said that it was unlikely but that there were one or two things which meant it might be a possibility. I'm not getting myself actively worked up about it but I feel like with three university deadlines in 10 days, all my medical, hormonal crap could have come at a better time.

The worst thing about all these deadlines and appointments is that I've barely even had time to think about what I want to do after uni, much less talk about it or do any really intense research about my options. I suppose for the moment I'll have to content myself with being a slightly unhinged, hormonal student. Only four more weeks and then it's the holidays and I can breathe a huge sigh of relief.