This is different from last time. I believe I am worth something. I believe my life is worth living, and I know 100% that I'm not alone. Getting out of bed is getting harder and horrible thoughts I've not had in years pop into my head at the most inopportune times. Not in an 'I'm going to do something' way, more an 'it would be so easy to do something if I wanted' kind of way.
I think I'm just getting snowed under with everything. I don't feel like this is never going to end or get better, but I do feel like crying... constantly. My room is unpleasantly messy and no matter how much time I spend around people, I feel horribly isolated. I've fallen into the middle of such complicated and confusing emotional, educational, financial and general life situations that I no longer feel able to juggle without dropping everything. Fourth year was supposed to be the enjoyable (if hard) one, it wasn't supposed to turn me into a head case again...
I just need to keep telling myself this won't last forever...
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